On a beautiful day many years ago, I wondered what to learn next. I never thought I needed to learn about EQ but out of curiosity, I tried the Emotional Intelligence in Practice course on Future Learn. I went for it spontaneously like the way I went for a book sometimes but it turned out to be a great experience.
So, below is my short note. As the note was taken for myself at first, it might not be complete. Please check the course if you want to learn more about this topic.
4 types of EQ: self-awareness, self-management (control emotion), self-social management (empathy), relationship management
PRESENT
1. Belief in one’s story = truly believe in what I am selling
2. Confidence, not arrogance (secure in my thoughts and comfortable with being challenged. Open to constructive feedback
3. Synchrony across verbal and non-verbal channels (body language = words)
AFFIRM MY CORE VALUE
1. Accept imperfection
Being present at the moment. More present with the present challenge.
2. Truly identify and affirm your core values: (write 5 values; why do they make you who you are)
Access core values = personal power (power over the self)
LET THE BODY LEAD THE MIND
The body tells us the state of the mind => calm yourself like a yogi
DEVELOP A GROWTH MINDSET
Work-in-process instead of winning or losing.
Ask: What is the baseline? Make subtle adjustments in the direction you want to go
It’s a marathon, not a sprint
Deploy my core values
Maintain awareness of breathing throughout the entire interaction
LEADERSHIP AS A SERVICE
Here to work for everyone in the company
Focus on the team: lean in more than halfway because it’s my job to get the best out of everyone
Listen actively, ask questions to get root problems
Practice patience: e.g.careful reflection, sleep on an important email
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Foundations in Self-Awareness – defining who you serve, defining true north, making resilience contagious, starting a support network, and filling the gaps in your base case leadership style
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HOW TO KNOW YOURSELF
Meditation, prayer
What is my true north? What’s the true north for this particular situation?
Why am I doing this? What’s motivating me? Are my intentions the right ones?
Am I remaining relevant?
Am I getting stale by repeating the same action over and over again?
Am I challenging the way I think? The way I motivate others? The way I approach the problem?
CELEBRATE MY FAILURE
Look for emerging patterns among your mistakes.
=> reflect, connect the dots => next decisions
TEST THE LIMIT OF MY COURAGE
Be willing to stand for what I believe.
MAKE RESILIENCE CONTAGIOUS
Acknowledge and relieve the stress of others
Talk about my own stress openly, with an attitude that demonstrates resilience.
Prepare me for adversity. Spend a few minutes at the start of the day reflecting on values and meaning.
Bring humour to the situation.
Connect actions to something meaningful
EVERYONE NEEDS A COACH, IT’S YOUR JOB TO FIND ONE
1) First identify strengths and weaknesses
2) Define your network
3) Invite observation (discussion, observation, etc.).
4) Meet for feedback: insights on your interaction.
DIFFICULT EMOTIONS AND FEAR
1. Accept:
What you are thinking and feeling? => Label the emotion (Don’t struggle to categorise thoughts and emotions as right or wrong.). Accept them as they are in a kind, compassionate, and curious way.
2. Move into a process of stepping out:
They are just TEMPORARY.
3. Connect with your why, your values.
Will this decision move me toward my values or away from my values?
4. Move on.
CHOOSE COURAGE
Recognise that doing something meaningful almost always requires some level of discomfort or stress. Courage is not the absence of fear. Courage is fear walking. Be compassionate and connected with your fear. But don’t let it prevent you from making choices that align with your values.