On a beautiful day many years ago, I wondered what to learn next. I never thought I wanted to learn about emotional intelligence (EQ), but out of curiosity I tried the Emotional Intelligence in Practice course on FutureLearn. I signed up spontaneously, the same way I sometimes pick up a random book, and it turned out to be a great experience.
These notes were originally taken for my personal use, so they are intentionally incomplete and do not reproduce the full content of the course. Please check the original Emotional Intelligence in Practice course if you want to dive deeper into this topic.
The four types of emotional intelligence (EQ)
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Self‑awareness
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Self‑management (managing and regulating your own emotions)
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Social awareness (empathy)
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Relationship management
Being present
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Believe in your own story
Truly believe in what you are “selling” – your ideas, your product, your vision. -
Confidence, not arrogance
Be secure in your thoughts and comfortable with being challenged. Stay open to constructive feedback. -
Align words and body language
Aim for synchrony between your verbal and non‑verbal communication so your body language matches your words.
Affirming your core values
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Accept imperfection
Be present in the moment and with the challenge in front of you, instead of chasing perfection. -
Identify and affirm your core values
Write down five core values and explain why they make you who you are.
When you access your core values, you tap into personal power – power over yourself.
Let the body lead the mind
The body often shows us the true state of the mind. Calm your body first – like a yogi – to help calm your thoughts and emotions.
Developing a growth mindset
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See yourself as a work in progress, not as winning or losing.
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Ask: What is my baseline? Then make subtle adjustments in the direction you want to go.
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Remember: it is a marathon, not a sprint.
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Keep deploying your core values.
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Maintain awareness of your breathing throughout important interactions.
Leadership as a service
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You are here to work for everyone in the company, not the other way around.
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Focus on the team: lean in more than halfway, because it is your job to get the best out of everyone.
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Listen actively and ask questions to find the root problems.
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Practice patience – for example, by sleeping on an important email before sending it.
Foundations in self‑awareness
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Define who you serve.
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Define your “true north”.
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Make resilience contagious.
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Start a support network.
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Fill the gaps in your base‑case leadership style.
How to know yourself
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Meditation, prayer, or other reflective practices.
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Ask: What is my true north? What is the true north for this situation?
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Why am I doing this? What is motivating me? Are my intentions the right ones?
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Am I remaining relevant? Am I getting stale by repeating the same actions?
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Am I challenging the way I think, the way I motivate others, and the way I approach problems?
Celebrate your failures
Look for emerging patterns in your mistakes. Reflect on them, connect the dots, and let that guide your next decisions.
Test the limits of your courage
Be willing to stand up for what you believe in.
Make resilience contagious
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Acknowledge and help relieve the stress of others.
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Talk about your own stress openly, with an attitude that demonstrates resilience.
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Prepare yourself for adversity: spend a few minutes at the start of the day reflecting on your values and what gives your work meaning.
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Bring humour into difficult situations.
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Connect your actions to something meaningful.
Everyone needs a coach – it is your job to find one
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Identify your strengths and weaknesses.
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Map your network.
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Invite observation – ask people to watch you in action and share what they notice.
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Meet for feedback and gather insights on how you interact.
Working with difficult emotions and fear
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Accept
Notice what you are thinking and feeling. Label the emotion. Avoid judging thoughts and emotions as right or wrong; accept them with kindness, compassion, and curiosity. -
Step out
Remember that emotions are temporary. You can observe them instead of being controlled by them. -
Reconnect with your “why” and your values
Ask: Will this decision move me toward my values or away from them? -
Move forward
Take the next small step aligned with your values.
Choose courage
Doing something meaningful almost always involves some level of discomfort or stress. Courage is not the absence of fear; courage is fear walking. Be compassionate and connected with your fear, but do not let it stop you from making choices that align with your values.